So last time I had gotten to the point where the scales nearly carried me…
Over the following 3 weeks I was on a mission. I almost became obsessed with doing everything I could to make sure I ate within the 1,500 calorie a day limit. At the time I was so big that exercise was out of the question.
The day of the nutritionists visit came. We sat and talked how I’d been doing and how I felt in general, I was desperate to get on those damn scales..
So the time came. I kicked off my shoes and stood on them
100, 200, 300, 304.5kg it stopped!!!! It was reading a weight and it had stopped! I wanted to cheer, shout, scream!! After nearly 5 months of utter disappointment we finally had a weight to register!
She could see how pleased I was. I could feel a lump in my throat. She told me to keep going as this was only the beginning and there was a lot of hard work to go.
First thing I did was FaceTime my brother Steve. I told him that the scales finally carried me! His face lit up. He told me he was proud of me. I said my goodbyes and put the phone down and cried.
I rang my dad. Again after the conversation I cried. Same with everyone. Newts, Betty, Gaz, Trev. I wanted to tell the world that at last the hardest thing I was facing in my life was finally starting to pay off.
I spoke to the nutritionist and she estimated that my starting weight would’ve been in the region of 325kg (716lbs) or in English 51.17st…
So now we had a registered weight the work really began. With Christmas on the horizon I knew it was going to be a tough one to maintain if I could.
The psychiatrist came out and he asked me to step outside and stand by my wheelie bin with him for a few minutes. In the pic you can see how close it was to my front door. And I was panicking like mad being that far outside..
I could feel my heart racing and my anxiety kicked in. He asked how I felt. I told him that I wanted to be back inside where I felt normal. Being stuck inside a mental prison as much as a physical one (due to my size) it felt safe to be in my living room..
Again he was astounded to know that I could go from a happy go lucky man just 10 years before to a man so close to the edge of not being able to fight back.
But fighting back was only just the beginning of it all….