So with the scales now carrying me, my weight began to steadily come down. By the time Christmas arrived my weight had dropped to 290kg (45st). I was feeling more and more positive each time the scale said I’d lost weight.
Christmas arrived and it was an odd one. I kept on having small meals including a small Christmas.Dinner. Early January I saw the nutritionist and I’d actually lost weight over the Christmas period. I was told I was one of very few people that the nutritionist had seen that had a loss over that time.
I was also starting to spend more time outside at my wheelie bin and was trying to walk about my flat (apartment) as often as I could. My family and friends were as always first class.
The Psychologist has told me that he had managed to get a surgeon to come out and visit to talk about the chances of surgery and what the plans would be. Little did I know at the time how uncomfortable I would feel when I met this man, but also the immeasurable effect he would have on my life. But in the mean time all I could do was keep making the effort and try and improve my life as much as possible.
My clothes although were never tight, were starting to feel a little bit bigger on me and with the help of the carers I was starting to get some kind of routine in my day to day life.
Mentally I was slowly improving but I would still feel really anxious when it came to going outside. I know we live in a judgemental world and people will always stare and point at anyone or anything that’s different.
And the fact is I am different. I don’t fit the moulding of what’s normal. I was 45st and I looked every pound of it. Even now, at 26st I still get stared at when going to the gym or walking down the street.
The one thing I can not stop is the amount of loose skin I have and it is visible when I move even through my clothes. I can’t change that and being completely honest it kills me. But I know it won’t be like that forever and one day I’ll be able to walk anywhere and people will hopefully look and stare for a completely different reason..
The picture on this blog was taken in 2012. I got a lot bigger than that and it still shocks me as to how ill I look.